What happens: Lauren tells Heidi she doesn’t think Spencer is a good person and that she’ll “be there for her when he screws her over—’cause he will.” Very harsh. (Also, knowing what I know about hangovers, I’m 83 percent sure they’re hungover in this scene.)
Ridiculous factor: 7
Rationale: This was, essentially, the inciting incident that led to Lauren and Heidi’s falling out. Was it a bit preemptive? Could Lauren have maybe let her 21-year-old friend date a douche in peace like I did with my idiot friends at that age? Yes.
Season 2, episode 6
What happens: Heidi feels Lauren is making her choose between keeping her best friend and keeping her boyfriend. Lauren says Heidi doesn’t have to choose…but “she’s chosen.”
Ridiculous factor: 7.9
Rationale: Lauren had some legitimate grounds to be upset here: Her best friend was straight-up ignoring her. To me, this signaled the true end of their friendship. There was no coming back from this stage, which begs the question…who got the cats?
Season 3, episode 14
What happens: Heidi (freakin’) IMs Lauren and asks if they can get together to talk.
Ridiculous factor: 9
Rationale: I mean, this was logistical. They needed to make plans to yell at each other, and Heidi kickstarted those plans. Via (freakin’) IM.
Season 3, episode 1
What happens: Lauren and Heidi’s first encounter post-sex tape rumors. Lauren yells, “You know what you did!” to Heidi. It’s since become reality TV canon.
Ridiculous factor: 9.8
Rationale: A messy first confrontation was inevitable. Lauren was livid. Heidi was confused. Audrina was…there. Just like most things need to get worse before they get better, this was things getting worse (though, unfortunately, they never got better).
Season 3, episode 14
What happens: This was the meet-up they scheduled via IM. (See how important that was now?) Heidi makes one final plea to Lauren for forgiveness. She agrees to forgive her—but also to forget her (classic!). Heidi leaves, wistfully, one eye completely covered by her platinum blond hair.
Ridiculous factor: 10
Rationale: Reality TV fights don’t get any better than this. It’s the final nail in the coffin that was Lauren and Heidi’s friendship. The bouquet of thorny roses! The tears! Lauren’s truly unfortunate dress! For sheer iconography alone, this is the most essential Lauren-Heidi spat on The Hills. It’s also their most painfully real (or seemingly real, at least). I can’t forgive this one—or forget it.